I run the mailing list for a group of motorcycling idiots called The Village Idiots.
Supposedly two of them have come across a 2004 BMW GS Adventure with no cost to them and are giving it away.
Here is the email they sent:
> So, here is the scoop. The bike is going to go to an Idiot. Any
> Idiot who is interested in having the bike can enter the giveaway
> with a written statement containing more than 25 words, butt less
> than 50 words. Other than the number of words, the content is up to
> the entrant, butt the title of the post must contain the words “Bike
> Giveaway.” The statement must be posted to the Village Idiot list
> before midnight Christmas Day. There is no limit on the number of
> entries. Possession and maybe title of the bike will go to the Idiot
> chosen by me and Magwa at our sole and unfettered discretion, without
> regard to any objective or logical criteria. Magwa and I are not
> eligible. No relatives of me or Magwa are eligible. No employees of
> Valley Independent Bank, First & Alluvial Partnership, Academy
> Lending, Realty Property Management or me are eligible. No
> Republicans are eligible. The bike may or may not come with title,
> butt I’ve heard on television that possession is 9 tenths of the law
> and it cannot be disputed that you cannot ride a title.
So… I entered (of course) with the following two limericks and then some haiku:
—–
There were two Idiots named Magwa and Fronch
Who came upon a stray GS by chance
Butt from where, no one knows
And so to give it away they chose
With no title and uncertain provenance.
—–
There once were two Idiots from Coursegold
Who obtained a BMW, not very old
They hatched a scheme to unload it
By having us write complete bullshit
Fuck it, I can’t rhyme, just give it to me
—–
Freezing rain today
No GS in my garage
My heart is heavy
On Christmas evening
Two Idiots will decide
Oh capricious whim
Winter time sets in
A new GS to hope for
Choose well, Idiots
Riding in the spring
The Lost Coast is calling me
A new bay-em-vay?
—–
Hope I win.
